This is the home of the fleet, the Lesbian Pirate Ninjas. We will blow down your house and then charge you to rebuild it. We will eat your face. We will annex your pool in the name of our private country and then laugh when your little sister can't go swimming. We can get you fries with that. We know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. We can travel back in time to kill your grandfather, making you cease to exist. We can smell what the Rock is cookin'. We are magically delicious. We believe that cheese should be its own food group. We have gone through the desert on a horse with no name. We are the first last and only line of defense against the worst scum of the universe. We know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. We never cheated at Diablo 1. We always keep our eyes on our half of the screen. We are tired of saying "Yes." to the "Can you hear me now?" guy. We beat Giga Bowser with Jigglypuff... in record time. We are specifically designed for high mileage engines. We killed the Sleeper. We have the technology. We can eat a whole Ziggy Piggy. We can turn the "Reading Rainbow" theme into deathmetal... and did. We beat Emerald and Ruby weapons without KOTR or Mime. We pity the fool. We are all that and a bag of potato chips. We are the Lesbian Pirate Ninjas.